Royal Crown
My best mate when I was 12 was much cooler than I. He always knew what Vuarnet and Elf Quest and The Beastie Boys were before I ever did. When it came to having cool skater-boy-ish hair, he said the secret was Royal Crown – a product I’d never heard of and then spent at least two years looking for feverishly in every big-box store and drugstore my mom and I could think of.
Eventually I found a tin of the infamous goop at a trapped-in-time Five & Dime in Northern Minnesota during a weekend trip to the family cabin. No matter how much of the stuff I used, my hair was never as cool as my mate’s.
For two bucks and some change, I bought a fresh tub last Friday at my local Walgreen’s. I know now, only because of Facebook, that my childhood mate no longer has much hair to speak of. So it’s finally my turn to have the cool hair now, and to tell the many guys who (secretly) idolize me that the secret trick is a tin of Royal Crown.
